Dip Me In Honey…
(And Throw me To The Lesbians)
Episode 1 – Feels Good Hit Of The Summer
Open my eyes.
This is too light.
I yawn, fuck, this is way too light. I, with great effort and lack of will, manage to sit on the bed, just to realize my head hurts as hell. Fuck, where am I? I look around, this is not nice. I rest my head in my hands, my eyesight went all black, when I think I recovered it I look up again and notice that there is someone, a girl mumbling something. I crawl through the bed and what I see on the ground isn’t really nice either. There’s a pale man lying still, blood down his nose, and a punk girl tapping his face, trying to wake him up.
I want to puke. I quickly put my hand on my mouth and swallow it. I kneel on the bed and breath deep sometimes, before looking back at them. The girl is wearing only some… S&M like leather bra and pantyhouse. The guy is naked and I am… with a ripped shirt? I massage my head with the tip of my fingers, it is hurting so much… I swallow again.
-Hey. – I call the girl. She doesn’t seem to pay attention to me. – Hey, you. – I call her again, and she turn to me, her eyes blood-shot red. I can’t say whether she’s been crying or she’s high. – What happened? – I ask in an intimidated voice, especially low because of my headache. She seems outraged with my question, but just keep staring at me, I don’t think she knows the answer besides the obvious.
-Overdoses. – And that was the obvious.
-Yeah, but… is he ok? – she swallowed deep, angry.
-OF COURSE HE’S NOT OK! HE’S DYING! – I paralize. I crawl to the ground and touch his face, he was cold. I can’t say if he is breathing. I stare at him utterly shocked for a good while and try to say something, that goes as a mumble. When I’m back to conscience I instantly get on my feet and run to the bathroom, banging the door. I touch my face and wash it, throw water on it. And see what should be myself on the mirror. I look like shit. I sit on the latrine.
-Oh my god, how I got myself into it? – I sigh, my heart is racing, I inhale and exhale deeply. I lower my head, resting it in both my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. I suddenly feel something going up my throat and throw myself into the floor, lifting the cover of the latrine and puking my stomach out. When I think I’m finished I sat on the floor again, feeling like shit.
My mouth tastes bad, my head hurts, my belly is empty and my stomach feels weird. I’m completely weak and don’t feel like I was capable even of getting on my feet again. I rest my head on the wall and close my eyes, trying to believe it was all a hallucination caused by a seriously bad drug.
The feeling doesn’t change. I put myself together, and again with a lot of effort I stand up. I run my hand on my forehead, drying it. I put my hair behind my ears and go to the room again, still dizzy, and kneel on the girl’s side. She was covering the side of her face with her hand, visibly worried.
-What are we gonna do? – I ask.
-I don’t know…
-We should take him to a hospital… – she turned to me with furious eyes and laughed sarcastically.
-You “rock stars” are completely out of the reality, yeah? IF WE TAKE HIM TO A HOSPITAL WE’RE GONNA GET ARRESTED FOR THE USE OF DRUGS! If you don’t know it, they’re illegal, princess. – I don’t like being called a princess.
-So you’re gonna let him die? – I answered also sarcastically.
-There must be a way. – She shrugged.
I stand up, and lean my back against the wall, and look at them. A death silence fills the room. Man, we’re fucked.
-Do you know if… he is… alive? – I ask, afraid of the answer… or of the reaction. She is skinny but somehow scary. And actually sexy, I notice, but not a little turned on in this fucking bizarre situation. Sometimes I really have to agree with that nudism idea that when everyone is naked you don’t neccessarily will associate with sex. Well, that’s not the case, because it is a very… untypical, but anyway, morning after scene. The room reeks to sex and weed. And sweat. And mould. And blood. Better stop thinking about that before I puke again. Better stop thinking about anything. Fuck, what are we fucking going to do with that bloody body?
-I… think he is. – I turn to her, caught in surprise between my thoughts.
-Really?
-I don’t know. – I cover my face with my hands, how useful.
-I know… I know a way of solving this. – She gets up. I stare at her, waiting for it. She doesn’t answer, she just cross the room, searching for clothes. I don’t know exactly what to do, but decide to get dressed too, and it is a tough task as my shirt was ripped. I take it off, throwing it on the floor and becoming completely naked now, and somehow less exposed, because honestly, wearing a ripped shirt that basically shows all your… scratched chest, as I just noticed, and nothing else… anyway, forgetting about that I searched for the rest of my clothes, I let a fed up mumble scape as I notice my underpant ripped too. I felt even lucky when I realized my pants weren’t, and great, my leather coat too. When I look around I realize the girl is not on the room, but on the bathroom. I get close to it and hear her saying something.
-Is it the police? – she stammered, obviously nervous. Freeze. I feel all my body paralizing and she continues – I am at a motel… I’ve been drugged, me and my friend.. we… we’ve been abused by a guy, I just woke up and saw my friend bleeding and… – FUCK. My heart is racing, I can’t move my legs, I don’t know what to do. When I am able to breathe again I just rush the room searching for my cellphone and start to call Stef, getting out of there immediately.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
There’s no elevator. It seems to be a motel… I search for the stairs. Where are the stairs?
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
STAIRS! STAIRS, THE STAIRS RIGHT THERE
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, STEF ANSWER IT.
-FUCKING STEF! – I almost scream when he answers it, he can’t even finish his ‘Hello’.
-Brian? – he answers scared and apparently a little fed up.
-YES, IT IS BRIAN.
-What’s up?
-STEF, FUCKING CATCH ME.
-What? Where the hell are you?
-I… I don’t know – I start to cry, while running downstairs. I can feel the hot tears touching my cheeks. I start to sob.
-What? Brian, what happened? – Stef seems worried, he’s so nice…
-I.. can’t.. tell.. now – I try to say, between my loud sobs.
I quickly cross the reception, not talking to anyone, someone called me. Maybe wanting me to pay something, I run quicker.
-Brian, just tell me where you are…
-I SAID I DON’T KNOW STEF! – I scream and run my left hand on my face, trying to dry the tears but it doesn’t work as more tears go down. I saw a taxi passing and desperately gestured to it, almost throwing myself in front of it. It stops abruptely, the taxi driver very pissed off.
-WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?! – he gets his head out of the window and screams at me I just swallow dry, still crying. Stef is calling me, screaming “Brian” on the phone, but I don’t answer.
-I need to go home.. – I say between sobs, the man, for some reason, seemed to have pity.
-Get in. – My eyes opened wide. My day was even more bizarre now. I sit down quietly, Stef already gave up the phone call. – Where do you live?
-Deptford. – I answer quietly, I had stopped crying. The driver grunts, Deptport wasn’t the best place of London. Adding that to my appearance, I probably didn’t seem to have money. I search for my pocket, I can’t find my wallet. Fuck. I remember the girl. – FUCK!
-No money, right? – I turn to him, actually that wasn’t the main problem but…
-Yeah, I mean, no, no money. Sorry.
He grunts again.
-But my friend can pay… when I get there. – Sorry, Stef!
-Ok. – he turns on the taxi. I call Stef again.
-Brian?
-Hey… – I answer quietly, with my after crying nasal voice.
-Can you talk to me now?
-Yeah… I mean, no.
-What the hell, Brian?! – he seemed angry.
-I explain later, ok? Can you pay the taxi for me?
-What? – he was speechless. After a few seconds he sighed – Ok. – he said against his will. I smiled softly.
-Thank you, Stef. I love you. – The taxi driver turns immeadiately to me, with a very disgusted expression. I blush and turn off the phone. On Stef’s face. I pat my face, as I realize that I cutted Stef. I just turn to the taxi driver again and mumble the directions to Stef’s house. He was waiting for me outside, he pays the taxi and I hug him tight.
-Thanks. – he hugs me back but doesn’t answer, we get to his flat. His small but not that bad flat. I throw myself on his couch and take off my leather jacket, it wasn’t really confortable to wear it without a shirt. Stefan raises his eyebrows.
-Now you tell me what happened?
-Yeah. I… – I first try to put my thoughts in order – woke up with a punk girl and a… guy lying on the floor, bleeding from his nose.
-The strippers. – he said.
-Strippers? – I ask.
-Yeah, from the bar. Don’t you remember? – he asks, obviously finding it weird.
-No, I don’t. Wait… where were we yesterday? – I frown.
-Fuck, Brian, we were playing on that contest for unsigned bands, In The City. – I raise my eyebrows, remembering it.
-Tell me more. – Stef’s jaw fell, he let out a shocked sigh.
-We won alongside other bands, don’t you remember? Peter Hook slagged us off. – I snap my fingers.
-Yes! I remember that fucker! We were the best band there! But some management saw us, and we fucking are gonna sign! – I yelled.
-Yeah. Than we got to a bar and you were decided to get very drunk. You were dancing with the strippers. – I remembered now, seeing the girl’s legs around me. Seeing her getting down, almost on me. And the male dancer too. I blink twice.
-Keep going.
-And we left you, because you were fucking out of the limits.
-So you don’t know the rest?
-No.
-Man.
We sighed.
-Where is my wallet? – I ask him.
-Oh, Steve took it away from you because you were fucking out of the limits.
I stare at him. And start to laugh. Very loud. Stef stares at me scared.
-I CAN’T BELIEVE IT – I keep laughing, until tears were againg on my eyes, and running down my cheeks, Stef starts to laugh at me awkwardly. I lean to him, lying on his lap, laughing my fucking ass off. – Man, this is fucking crazy. – I say as I slowly stop laughing and dry my tears.
-I can imagine. – he giggles.
-She called the cops to arrest me, saying I was the one who drugged them – I laughed.
Stef paralyzed.
-What are we gonna do?
-She can’t prove it! – I sit.
-Do you think so? – he is really scared.
-I do. Don’t you?
He didn’t answer.
-This is wicked.
